After a rainstorm here where I live, my world looks like it is covered in diamonds. The tiny diamonds of raindrops that hang from the spirit tree in my back yard sparkle as the wind gently shakes the branches.
I have been struggling with a lot of growth in my life again. It seems like my thoughts are always streaming. There is a lot of background noise in my thoughts as they race around in my head. There are very few days where I can hear the earth’s breath.
Even though I can sit for hours and meditate, I still have this hum, and these thoughts keep coming. It can be maddening at times. I have been working on letting go of all the mindless chatter that I have.
It is not easy; there are mornings I wake up with all the thoughts of yesterday and the thoughts for today—the worries of family, money, and the stress of staying alive. There isn’t much I can do but ride the views out and know that they too shall pass like our earth’s storms.
So the other day, as I was bombarded with all these thoughts and mind chatter, I laid down on my bed and started to think about a rainstorm. The way the sky darkens, the heavy feeling, the way the body hurts, the anxiety of the up and coming winds. The first flash of lightning is frightening for some. I use to be one of those who would run for the weather radio and sit and listen in fear as the storm grew louder.
I think that a lot of my PTSD came from living in Alabama for nearly nine years. The constant worry of storms and tornados. It got to where I didn’t sleep if I heard a clap of distant thunder.
Life can be like that for me. I can wake up with the best of thoughts. Yet one little hick-up or adverse action, and I am in a fight or flight response. I can’t get the momentum to stop, and I find myself having stress attacks and fighting with others to keep a sense of calm that I do not even have in myself.
The thought of how the storm arrives had me thinking about all the storms in my mind, that cause storms in my body. How does one let go of all the storminess and allow things to pass by?
My reactions to all that I see, hear, and experience has become a nightmare.
As I lay there, thinking of how the storm grows, and how I am experiencing feels the same way, it had me thinking. The storm does go away. It may rain, hail, lightning, blow, and thunder, but it does go away.
Now that I am back in my home state, I have found I do not worry about a storm like I once did.
I got to thinking about how I enjoy thunderstorms more now. When the sky darkens, I feel an excitement; I listen for the clap of thunder, the way the earth smells before and after a storm. How the birds react, how the tiny diamonds on the grass sparkle.
The rainbow as the skies clear.
I laid there, seeing all the storm’s beauty, and I felt the noise in my mind start to fade, the humming, the constant worry. I had no idea how much stress I was carrying in my mind as well as my body.
The mindless chatter took on a voice of appreciation. I could hear the wind, the birds, and the sharp little clicks of my dog’s toenails on the wooden floor.
Life can become one great big noise, a storm of fear and negativity. It is up to us to reclaim our Goddess given right to calm and appreciate all that we are here to explore and experience.
As this realization hit me, I cried. It was a release of pent up anxiety and panic. I found a path to peace. Yes, I will stress, Yes, I will have mindless chatter come and go. The word to focus on is the “GO.” Life will go on, and these moments will come and go.
It is up to me to decide how I will allow them to affect me. It is up to me to determine how I will react to these moments.
The first thing is to acknowledge the moments, see them, and recognize when the storm is coming.
Can you see yourself get past the fear and the stress? Can you see yourself on the other side of the mindless chatter?
Life is amazing. It is not easy, but it can be fun. Life is my career, my passion, my reason for being here. I found that now when I feel overwhelmed, in pain, fearful, or worried. I think about the rainstorm and how this too shall pass, and the other side of it has beauty and renewal there.
Reach for the thought that feels better, and allow the natural well-being that is yours. Abraham Hicks Quotes
“You always have the power to choose which thought to follow. Choose the one that feels best so that you place yourself in the vibration of that which you desire.” Abraham Hicks