It’s a beautiful cloudy fall day here today.  I love my sunshine where I sit and write but there are days that a little darkness just seems right.  It is incredible how things change with a bit of stirring up.

So how did I find my way to loving myself?  I had to forget all I have been taught.  NOT an easy feat! I had to realize I am a creature of habit, and old habits do not like to be destroyed.  It is so much easier when you are being led than to be a leader.  How many times have you had that gut sinking feeling come over you when you were chosen to run a project or had to make the first move?

My life was always about taking care of others, and if there was time then, and only then, I might be able to sneak in a bit of time for me.  I was angry, upset, frustrated, and I took those feelings out on those around me.  I was confused because I felt that I was owed for the desirable behavior I was doing.  I was angry because no one was coming to my rescue or at least giving me a pat on the back.

Why is it that we feel better about ourselves when we are in love?  Is it because we are getting that love and attention we have always worked for, or is it that when we fall in love, we see our true self in the reflection of that freedom??  That freedom that this new person doesn’t know me like I have been told I am. I can make myself into the person I want to be, my real me.  Yet, it doesn’t last long, before you know it, you have unwillingly gone back to your old programs, your old stories and now you are back to hating who you are.  The new person knows the truth that you were taught to believe.  And the cycle continues.

Until you love you for every little piece of lovable you, there are not enough partners in your life that will help you feel good about you.

I am energy; all things on this planet are energies.  Energy is always in motion, energies are what our memories are.  A belief is an energy as well.  We can change energy by just thought.  Reiki teaches us that we can use our energy to connect with the energies of the world and bring healing to those around us.  The practitioner becomes the cell tower.  It is not our energies we are giving but the energy we can help focus through our bodies.

So if we are energy and our thoughts are energy than we can change energy and that effect will change our life. Right?

Have you ever walked into a room or down a street and felt odd, or you met a person you instantly liked or disliked.  Those are all energies that we can feel.  Energy is the taste of food, the coolness of a fall breeze, the heat of the shower.  We are all energy beings.  Energy is always in motion. The plant is alive and we flow with the world.  Why do I say this?  Because we are much more than a bag of bones, blood, and cells.  We start as a spark of energy and we continue as energy until we move from this body.  We are eternal, our energy never dies.  Remember this!  YOU ARE ETERNAL!

If we are energy than our memories are energy.  You can never stop energy but you can focus it.  You can direct it.

So memory is an energy that we can change.  It’s hard to believe because we are taught the mechanics of life but not the spirit or energy of life.  When you feel good with someone else for the first time, that is your energy you are picking up on.  It is the energy of your self-love! That person only reminds you of the loving person you are. You love who you are because you love who you have become. It is not the other person who changed you the love you show is because you love who you are when you feel good.   But then it fades as we fall back into the old energies or stories or old teachings we carry from our past.

But you have the power to change your stories and your feeling towards yourself.  You have done it many times in your lifetime.  I feel like it’s doing a whole body cleanse, you have to take the time to refresh, cleanse, nurture your mind, spirit, and body.  How do we do that?

Acknowledging you are an energy being and you are eternal.  That self-love is the only way to heal and live in this world.  You came here to learn, grow, and remember who you are.  You are love, you came from a loving being, you came here to learn how to use that love to make your life.  You are the creator and you create everything going on in your life.  NO!! I am not talking about the things going on around you, those things are only there to help you get stronger in loving yourself.  It’s true the conspiracy, the drama the fake news is just that, energies created by those who forgot who they are.  Are they worth your time?  Is it okay they take you away from your happiness and Peace?  I don’t like giving my energy to bullshit!

Did you know that when you put you first, you are sweeter, more loving, and care deeper?  You want to give more because you are not looking outside of yourself for love. Yet, we are taught that this is a sin and that we must repent or go to hell. How dare you put you first. Think about this, when you are on a plane, and trouble stricks, who do you put the air mask on first??

It is the war of a lifetime, the fight for one’s self, and the fight is worth every bit of your time.  Yes, you will lose friends and family members. Is it worth your health, your well being, to be in those peoples life that is stuck and can not see the truth and beauty of who they indeed are?  Really do you like being around people who piss and moan every day about the drama that has been playing out for years? No matter how much you encourage, and counsel, every time to the phone rings you cringe.

My mom was a very negative person, day in day out she had to complain about something, most of the time it was about the news. It got to where I wanted to kill myself, nothing I said was right. It didn’t matter if I agreed or not, it was the same over and over, I got to saying, “mom just let it go if you could do something about it you would”.  Oh my goodness that just made her madder.  There are those who will go to war to keep a war going. Those are the times you just say, yep, you are right and walk away!

But just maybe if those around us see us happy, full of life, and getting all we ever wanted, do you think maybe they will come around?  You might just be the sparkle that family member or friend needs to see, so they can wake up and find out that they are more than worth what they have been taught.

The first step is taking back your life—-> turn off the drama, the fake news, the preaching that you are not good enough or a born a sinner, step away from those things that are not your business, of course, if you are asked to give an opinion or to counsel, be honest to a fault. It is time we stop the—-> I might hurt their feelings if I tell them the truth.  It is time to stop this harassment that society has adopted that it is not okay to offend. Get over that!

It is such a shame to see people walking around in a herd of unloving, uncaring, un-anything.  You are a warrior, and you came here to show this world of humans that you are much more than a piece of meat with no thoughts.  Even cows are treated better than most people.  We are all packed tight into little spaces taught that we are going to die and that nothing we do will ever be good enough!  Really that is what you want your reality to be??  NOT ME!!

Your first act of loving-kindness towards yourself today is to become AWARE!! Look at your life and ask… am I living the life I dreamed of or have a settled for what I was told I can have?

Then go look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am much more than I have settled for! I love you much more than I have given you. Then promise yourself you are going to fight to protect, respect, love, honor, and forgive you!  BECAUSE I’M WORTH IT!

See ya tomorrow you beautiful you!!

WWYHS