I have been struggling with a position I have taken on that is not mine to take on.  That gives me my question for the day.  Why do we feel we have to take on others’ responsibilities? Now don’t get down on yourself. It has only taken us generations to learn that we have to be our brothers’ keepers.

I know part of the answer is upbringing, but when do we let go of those limited beliefs? I am awful about taking control of a situation and having others resent me for it. Why do I feel like they dislike me?  I guess it is because those who are doing what they are doing know better, but do not want to see or take on that responsibility.  I am a leader, and I live by the saying “prior planning makes for professional results.”

Plus, it has a way of keeping things from getting all messed up down the road.  I rethink that thought.  I feel like when I get involved with something that is not mine to be involved with, things get messier. Plus, I am not helping the person who needs to work through their own shit.

Being the empathetic/ sensitive I am, I have a way of wanting to head off disaster before it can happen, and most of the time I can tell when that will happen.  I the human ignore the guilt instinct and allow others to do what they need to do, I end up getting caught up in the bullsauce! It’s my fault. I have this way of wanting to make others happy, and that gets me into messes.

It would be okay if others would mind their bullsauce, and stayed in their domain, but most of the time shit follows the direction of least resistance.  I am tired of the frustration and have found that my stress level is up which causes me to have ill days.  It is not fair.  So that brings up the next question.  How does one go about tearing down the mess of another and rebuilding a much more productive solution?

The very first thing that should have been done is when that gut instinct said NO, then you should listen to it.  But if you have missed that NO, then it is time to come up with a strategy for the messy outcomes because of the failure of not saying NO. No is a power word and it can rescue you from a lot of crap.

Game plan time:

With some deep down soul searching, I think I have come up with the perfect way.  I had a big enlightening moment on the very one who is causing the chaos.   It is okay to let those who are making the mess know that they have screwed the treaty of respecting all who are in the same household. That they handle and will have to deal with whatever comes about because of their failure to ensure that what they had planned has not come to fruition.   NOW stop here. This is where you may feel you have failed, but that is not the case.  You have only been a witness to this situation.  YOUR crime—> taking over where you shouldn’t have.  You are now putting back into the cosmic order the right order.

It feels great to allow others to take back their responsibilities. After you get over your control of fear of not being in control.

I woke up feeling much better with life and happy to let go of this runaway stagecoach.  My plan for the day, letting go of the need to control a situation that is not mine.  I feel like I have jumped from this speeding mess and have landed on a soft pile of feather pillows.  Now, where is the popcorn? Heck, I am not above watching as this all heads for the climatic cliff.

I am reminded that this world, as I’ve found, is all about the entitled individual syndrome. Most of the situations out there can be handled with love and guidance.  But there are those who just don’t care to make things better for all involved.   They care not for what they can do for one another, the self-entitled person or persons only care about what they will get.  It is too bad when we find ourselves amongst these people.

The allowance of letting go is very rewarding, and that has a way of showing up in all we do.  When we allow ourselves the freedom of taking care of thy own stuff, we help others to grow where they need to.  If they fail, that is the lesson they learn.   This excellent school called life is all about the acceptance of ourselves.  It is okay to allow all to have their day.

I have learned that no matter what I am safe and will be taken care of; I do not have to run around and put out fires that may or may not become infernos.  I do not have to stress nor fear what others are doing IF I AM TAKING CARE OF ME!! When you are in the mindset of doing yourself proud to create better, you make it better for all involved.  I think they call that integrity.

WWYHS