It seems these healing crisis or healing leaps are coming at me faster and faster these days.  I have been down with a neck ache for over 4 months.  I finally went to see a chiropractor, and he asked me what has been going on stress-wise.   I had to take a long moment and think hard.  I have no idea I was thinking. I have everything I want I am where I am supposed to be.

I had to take my other half with me, I cannot drive again, so I needed someone to get me to the Chiropractors office.  He spoke up and told the Doctor I have been under a lot of stress.   I have been living in it for so long I had no idea that I was under so much stress.  Emotions that are ignored turn into Physical Pain.  NOT just a little cramp, I mean a debilitating pain.

I started on anti-inflammatory herbs and got back to meditating.  I did the exercises the Doc recommended, and I was better within days.  I had a significant set back when I made a slushy using sugar, and my body reacted to the sugar.  Megga load of inflammations hit me.  I will not be doing that again.

I have also been learning to ask the question WHY a lot!  I needed to, and it has been helping me to end a lot of stress in my life.

Why?  Such a simple word yet so much fear surrounds it.  We are taught not to ask WHY.  We are taught at an early age not to ask why just to do whatever you were told. So wonder some many of us have trust issues.  However, “Why” can bring such enlightenment, so much joy, such gratitude into our lives.

I am learning to love the word WHY.  It is a fantastic way to stop a fight, it can bring to us what we want, and it gives us a way to let up on the seriousness that life has a way of taking on in our lives.

My first questions were why is there suffering in my world? Why do I assume nobody understands my pains, my wants, and my desires? These questions lead to deeper more meaningful questions.  What if I were to start to see others as a mirror of me?  We are all one; we just come here in different forms, we have different stories we live out.  But what if all those stories all those forms are just me?  Why would I want to be miserable in the limited thought that they are not like me or are me?  I am getting deep here, stay with me.

What if I came here in this form to get lost in the duality of this Earth plane?  We live with ups and downs all day, minute by minute.  One minute I can be on top of the world no pain, no stress, I see the world as just is.  I see no differences in me or the trees.  The next I am judgemental, I feel the fears of limitations of human-made rules, I hear and look at the sorrows of the world.  Why would I want to live in such a duality?

Jesus said it so well: I live in the world I am not of the world.

I came here to experience being human, yet I am so much bigger than that. It’s a fine line of balance that I play every day.  I am the creator, yet I get stuck in the limited thought of being created.  So wonder I go from grateful to anger in three point two minutes.  I asked what if I start to think of life as a game.  I get to experience life with all the ups the downs the highs the lows, the fun the not so much fun, the pain and the pain-free.  If I think of life like the lottery I get so excited about life.

I can imagine it like this:  You have just won a free trip to the Earth plane, where you get to live in the duality of life experiences.  You will have freedom of choice on everything, but you will learn that you have limitations by limited taught teachers, preachers, government officials, parents, and society.  You will not remember you are a  spiritual being having a human experience, because of the limitations and resistance you take on.  You will have to find the truth of your soul by becoming aware and mindful through trials and tribulations.  Use of your emotions and how they affect you is your only guide.  Good luck!!

So how do we transverse this world without going insane?  Become aware of all that is you. Why?  Because it feels good.

Being Aware is as natural as breathing.  Ever been at home sitting or doing something and all of a sudden you take a deep breath?  It feels so good.  I wonder every time I do this, why I don’t breath more “aware.” I take for granted so many things, I have become desensitized to the miracle of this body.   This made me think, what if I became more aware of what I was feeling and breathed into it care, love and support.

When a child cries we come to them with love and care in our thoughts.  We are mindful of what is going on.  We sit down and hold that child asking them questions and reassuring them that we are there to help. WHY have we stopped doing that for ourselves??

What if the next time you are sad, depressed, angry, upset, in pain, you sat down took three deep breaths.  On the inhalation, you became aware of the problem, on the exhilation you allowed love and awareness to be there for you.  Breath in – I am in pain, Breath out – I love you and will take care of you.   WOW,  what a fantastic feeling.  I did that today while hanging up some crystals.  I had pain in my ribs… I stopped and breathed in saying ” I am in pain.”  I  breathed out saying ” I am aware of this pain.” The pain went away.  Why?  I have not the foggiest.  I just know that I needed to be aware of it and to love it.

What if all the suffering in the world is just a way to get us to become aware of it and love it?? Really love it for being there, for bringing up those feelings I am feeling.  Why do we ignore those feelings, become distracted, run to the doctor for mind-numbing meds?  Why do we turn on the Tv, turn up the music, become judgmental, angry, resentful? How about you breathe in the awareness of it, feel the emotions of whatever it is.  I find now if I become mindful most of what I was running from or fighting disappears within minute or days.  It’s all about being in the here and now.

I have been more aware of what I am doing; no more do I just go through the motions.  I think of what emotions I feel as I go through my day.  I stop and breath in mindfulness, bring back my awareness of what my body is feeling.  I am letting go of the past and being in the now more.  I ask “WHY”  a lot more now.  I love to ask why.  I question why I am doing this or that.  I ask why I want this or that.  I ask why why why.  I love that!!!

As I was hanging my many crystals in my sunroom, I realized that each stone helped me get through something by helping me to become aware of that problem at the time.  Crystals help us to find awareness of a deeper understanding of the energies (growths) we go through.

It’s like taking an herb for an ailment.  I take the herb to help me become mindful of the illness I am working on caring for.  There was a time  I was making the herbs a distraction not a compliment to a deeper awareness of why I was going through this experience. I was taught at an early age not to ask why.  I was taken to doctors to get something to make the experience go away.   What if instead of learning to control or ignore the experiences I would have been taught to become aware and love those experiences?   Yeah, what a neat way to look at life!

That is what I am teaching myself to do now.  I am breathing in awareness and breathing out care.

Here try this today.  When you have a stress, problem, illness, whatever it be, come up.  Stop, breath in, while saying the stress, problem, illness…

Example:  While breathing in – I am stressed over not having enough money to pay my bills.  While breathing out – I had this problem come up before and all worked out ok.

Repeat this three times.  I bet you feel better when you get to that third breath.


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