I am a Saunterer

Hiking – “I don’t like either the word or the thing. People ought to saunter in the mountains – not hike! Do you know the origin of that word ‘saunter?’ It’s a beautiful word. Away back in the Middle Ages people used to go on pilgrimages to the Holy Land, and when people in the villages through which they passed asked where they were going, they would reply, ‘A la Sainte Terre,’ ‘To the Holy Land.’ And so they became known as Sainte-Terre-ers or saunterers. Now, these mountains are our Holy Land, and we ought to saunter through them reverently, not ‘hike’ through them.”
– John Muir

I believe that we should be “La Sainte Terre” when it comes to everything in life as well. I am a Saunterer I love to go through life slowly, relaxed and not in a hurry. When I get in a hurry, I get anxiety, panic attacks, angry, and frustrations. Life is not meant to be lived at a fast pace day in and day out. I love the song from Alabama “I’m in a hurry to get things done.” It speaks such volume to me. Why do we feel like we need to run life at such a fast pace??

It’s crazy to me that we are always in a hurry, we are like little ants as we run from one place to another, never really knowing why.  If we stop for just an hour, we can see all the beautiful things that are happening in our world.  If you turn off the news, you see all the beauty before you.  When I  quiet that place in me, that feels like I should be accomplishing something every day I find I get more accomplished.

I have been taught that if I don’t get something accomplished no matter what that accomplishment may be that I am lazy and I am not growing.  What are others achieving that I want, I asked myself?  What is it that they have that I can’t have? I can have anything I make up my mind to have, I don’t have to go out there and drive myself into the ground to get it either.  What is so beautiful about our beingness is that all the answers we are looking for are never outside of us.  When we get quiet and slow down the knowledge we seek comes forth in surprising ways.

That being said, that doesn’t mean that people see what is right there in front of their face.  When we are in a rush, we miss many opportunities.  How many times have you lost out of something because you were in a hurry that day??  I know I have lost a lot of time and money on being in a hurry!

I am looking forward to finding a porch swing bed for my backyard.  I really want to sit outside and listen to the wind, feel the sun and watch the birds.  I look forward to naps, reading books as well as writing my book.  It is a place to meditate and reconnect with myself.  What if we all slowed down for a year?  What if we stopped rushing through all things in life? What would happen if we all turned off the TV and social media, for just a month you took time off from any of those distractions and reconnected with those around us.  Meditated instead of finding distractions?  It is a terrifying thought for a lot of people.  MY GOD RECONNECT TO ME, MY FAMILY?  What if I don’t like them, what if they don’t like me???

Ok here comes a promotion for Kyle Cease, I am taken his The Limitation Game Series on YouTube.  I just felt the need to spend that 20 dollars on me, and boy am I glad I did!!  I was really going downhill again in life and health. His message has really talked to me in a decidedly deeper level.  When I got reconnected with what feels right, I started to have more inspirations.  I love inspirations!!!  I began to see the world from a broader perspective as well.   It is easy to fall back into that limited space of being.  I hate that I do that… and I love that.  When I love my faults, my limitations, I found them melt-away and inspirations take their place.

I was so angry there for a month or two, and it made me angry to be angry.  The wheel of limitations is a circle of horror.  When I limit myself to beliefs I have thought over and over, I continue in a circle of despair.  What is crazy is that when I got caught on this wheel of misfortune, I sped up and brought more and more of what I didn’t want back into my life over and over and over… you see the meaning I am sure. It’s like getting on a spinning ride, and by the third revolution you are so tired of this ride, but you can’t stop it or get off.  You are stuck until the ride comes to an end or your throw up and they have to stop the ride.  I am under the understanding that I don’t want to even get into that predicament. What if you could stop before you get on the ride, think about it, weight the feeling of it and go with that gut feeling and not do it.  I am not into proving my worth!  I do not feel I have to prove to myself by suffering.

We all have been there, it seems we can’t stop a fight that is ridiculous, we can’t prevent from being late to every little place we would like to go.  Our showers are invaded with drama and imagined fights, thoughts of what I should have said but didn’t.  The past wrongs come into your dreams, and you wake up to thinking about the same old shit that happened yesterday.

WHY??  I have closed my eyes really hard and yelled internally “ I will not think of the past hurts, stupid comments, transgressions of embarrassment”  Only to think more on those very things I don’t want to think about!!

How did I get them to stop, I turned around and loved them.  I didn’t try to prevent those thoughts from coming.  I allowed them to come and I loved them! Look up the word embarrassment, did you see all the pictures of people with their hands over their eyes, their mouth, the look of horror?   HOW sad is that!!??  Why do we have to feel shame for doing anything?? WELL, we shouldn’t!!!! It is okay to mess up or do something wrong.  In fact, do it and try to mess up. 

I have to do an amendment on my taxes. I got them done, but I am scared I will not submit them right, or leave something off so now I am procrastinating and worrying about them.  So for days, this has been haunting me. I am scared to mess them up, even though I did my best.  Why? Because I am afraid, I will not do something right.  Instead, I should just take them off my desk reread that I have everything and send it.  If they are not right, they will tell me.  NO BIG DEAL!!

I stopped worrying what others think of who I am.  I ended looking for acceptance from others. I am awful about being a people pleaser…and I love that!  But I don’t have to continue to be a people pleaser. I love what I was, but now I can let it go and make room for who I really want to be.  I started to love all those sad, depressing, hurtful, happy memories.  I accepted them as being a fantastic part of me.

I took stock of me.  I am amazing, I am caring to a fault, I love to be emotional, I see the world in so many layers.  I am always in a curious, thoughtful way and I want to know why.  I look deeper into most people then they want me to see.

I am met with lots of resistance from others, and I am learning how to accept that.  I meditate to help me stay deeply rooted in my inner guidance.  I feel every emotion.  I am scared to not feel, and I love that!

I love being insecure, want to be loved, care too profoundly, worry about those who I love = and I love that! I am deeper than my furthest knowledge of space. I have more depth than the deepest ocean. I am scared of death because I don’t understand it. And I love that!!

I like being a saunterer! I like meditating, taking my time and watching the world speed by.  I love seeing the flowers coming up, the flight of a dandelion seed in the air, the glide of a hawk over head.

Life is not to be rushed about and hurried along.  The old saying that life is fleating>>> yeah if you are on that circle of limitation, you are in too much of a hurry to enjoy the marvels out there, if you are to distract from the connections that really matter.  Sure it is very fleeting when you are on your death bed, and your only thought is I wish I would have slowed down and enjoyed it more.

I am glad I took that 20 dollars and invested the time into my health, and wealth of awakening my mind.  I love that I did that for me.  I am glad I saw that quote from John Muir.  We don’t have to wait till we are super old, weak, sick or dying to stop, and take in the meaning of this life.

Listen the world is not going to end, the planet is ever-changing, there is plenty for us all, life will go on.  Yes, we have had droughts before, we have had floods, we have had all these things we see today years and years ago.  Scary news sells. Stop watching those things and look outside your own door! If you don’t like what you see, move or clean it up!!

I love sharing silly memes with my family and friends, I love posting positive, uplifting thoughts on social media. I want to live those silly and meaningful memes, not just post them.  I love not watching the nightly news, I love that I can say what I want in a loving way, or just walking away because it won’t be heard in the way I want it to be.  I don’t have to comment on something that I don’t like.  I can be silent and watch what others do because it is not up to me to rescue them.  I am not my brother’s keeper. Yet if you are walking towards danger I will say something, it’s up to you whether you take the information or not.

I have jumped off the train that we all were taught to be on.  I love being out here alone.  I am ok with sending love to those who I can’t be with right now.  I can be angry with those who hurt me but look for the beautiful gift that hurt gave me.  I can see my day as the worse day ever or I can see it as the best day ever.  “I grew today because some moron cut me off.”   Because he cut me off, I slowed down and saved a dog, or I didn’t end up in a horrible accident.

My favorite things right now are looking around the corners of my life and feeling like I am looking for a surprise party or a shiny Easter egg.  I love all thoughts as they come up, and I can receive those thoughts with excitement.  I love those thoughts of hurt that come up from my past.  I sit with them and love them, I am grateful for them, for they made me who I am today.  I love to sit and find the ways I am thankful for those who hurt me.  I love how they show me what I don’t want and how I don’t want to be.

I hate allergies, but they brought a who new way of helping to build up my immunity in a holistic approach.  Because they were so bad this year I found a new way to work with them. I do not like OTC’s for allergy relief they make me very sleepy, and I feel like I am in a fog.  Not only are they gone but I don’t have to take a basket full of herbs every day to help my body.

When you connect to who you really are without the bias of others beliefs you start to look forward to past hurts we have repressed, and you can sit with them like a hurt child and love them.  You can see the why’s, the what for’s, the how come’s.

When things come at me slowly I can handle them with love, I don’t become overwhelmed, angry, depressed or frustrated. I can sit down with all that comes my way and listen, see, feel and love.

I am a Saunterer.


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