I’ve been to, and visited death and came back. I’ve looked at the many aspects of the death of relationships being thrown away, because the narrative told them to. I’ve walked through the anger of my pain dealt by my parents, being treated like I was nothing, because I was ill. I have put back the pieces of my heart, when those who I loved took my love and then threw me away like a wet paper towel. I have survived medical injuries and interventions. I moved closer to my home state so I could die.
I am grateful for all I have been through. I turned my back on death. I have watched myself fight to live and love. I have worked my heart off to survive all that I have had dealt to me. I am stronger and I have learned to use the energies I have gathered and have discovered.
There is no way in hell I will ever surrender to the narrative of this world, or take less than what I give. No more can I allow myself to sacrifice my heart to do for others. I can not heal others. I can only show them the way and hope they find the strength and love within themselves to continue.
I can’t settle < I want it all!
Life is the shits and has its up and downs, but there comes a time when you break from the wires that have latched onto you. I am learning to walk again, to listen to my heart, and there is nothing holding me down from dancing through this life.
I love the message I got yesterday from the book The Wizard’s Guide to Energy Healing. By – Brett Bevell < messages from spirit come to us in so many ways.
“The system itself is based on play, on deep intuitive listening, and knowing that no harm can come from using Divine energy healing. There is no test, nor are there any symbols to memorize. There is no spiritual allegiance you need to make to me or anyone else. The system itself empowers you to find your own way, to claim your own power, and to know the magical inheritance that is naturally yours as a conscious being beloved by the Divine.”
One thing I am learning is not to take this life seriously! One must learn to play.
Staying up all night might not be a problem either, you might stay up late to celebrate life. It is all about how you want to perceive life.
I had to learn to love myself, protect, honor and fight for myself. And I’ll fight till the death to protect me. Ive had to fight my way back to health, all by myself. Sometimes, despite others in my life. But I came out on the other side, knowing that if I can do it, so can you. And if you don’t want to, then I love you enough to let you go. It’s not fair to not allow you to find your own way.
I will accept nothing less or more than loving yourself, because if you can’t love yourself, there is no way you can love me. I want the person who cares about themselves as much as I care for myself. I want someone who loves to share, loves to play and is comfortable in their own skin. I will feel the negative energies if you are not aware, mindful and compassionate towards yourself. No one wants to be around someone who is depressed or down all the time. They want to see a fighter, a person who wants to create a loving life.
You have felt these energies; you walk into a room or met a person who uplifts you, or they are negative and lying to themselves and you feel drained. We all have felt those feelings. I can get up in the morning and write and feel very relaxed, but if I get up and look at twitter, I become depressed and unsettled. Twitter is like a loose live wire a caustic energy. It is a place we can get information, but it still is an ungrounded negative energy.
My journey is just starting. There is never a time to stop experiencing and learning. I am mindful of all that goes on around me and chose to be guided by what makes my heart feel light and joyful. I am learning to play again with the magic of the world. I am learning to heal with the energies that are surrounding me. I am following the good vibrations. As a spiritual being, I am gifted with the abilities to reach out and tune into the energies of this world.
I can tell by feeling the energies of people near or far if they are lying to me or being truthful to themselves. The world needs to get real with themselves. Stop being used by the fear and looking for the drama. Laugh at the silliness of those who spread the negativity because they have become the negative energy gatherers.
I have cut the attachments I had thought were important. I feel freer and am finding my way to those feel good feelings more and more. I have learned I can not change the past, but I can change the song notes and vibration from the past. I can pay attention to what I am saying to myself. And following my heart from one joy to another.
I have brought myself back to life. I am finding the pieces of me I have lost and putting them back together with Golden glue. I am becoming a work of art. I am worth more now. I am priceless.
I can feel the air going in and out of my lungs, I can feel my heart beating, I can feel the wind on my skin. I am energy, blood, flesh. I am vibrations; I am everything. I have healed my cells, my physical body, my mind, and spirit. I do what I want, in different ways, that work with my broken pieces. I am a work of art still being created.
Life is like a video game all the leveling up changes the healing approach of a healer, giving me different energy tools, that I just have to access. Magical energies call the healer to follow their consciousness to guide them, so each encounter we have is different energy and feeling. After enough time, I know the differences and what these energies mean. Then I can call them back to me when I need them.
I have no patience for tom foolery. I have no need for gaslighters, or narcistic people. If you want to be triggered, I am not who you need in your life. I am too busy living life. Learning to play and letting go of the bullshit others want to create in their lives. It’s the way life is. No one is powerless, they just don’t want to change and put the effort into bringing what they want into life. There is no perfect person, no one will save you, God/Spirit will allow you to do what you need to do to learn and grow.
So my advice, get ahold of yourself and make friends real quick like with yourself. There is a reason we hear the phrase, me, myself, and I. Ohh, and you will stay alone, or keep meeting those who use and abuse you, until you learn to love, protect, love, honor and respect you first. Pay attention to how you feel, and change them to a better feeling, because your heart never lies. That is where God/Spirit lives. And if anyone tells you differently, spit in their eye and run. Figuratively speaking, that is. Or not! Wink wink