Day 59 of my Reiki Challenge.

Wow, more than halfway through my challenge! It’s been a very challenging time for sure.  I have been fighting deep depression and lots of old pain.  It seemed like at times I could not shake that past pain no matter what I did.  I have been without sleep for days and was genuinely thinking about giving up on life altogether.  Why?  Why is this life so hard?  It is like no matter how hard we try there is almost always some sort of pain I have to deal with.  It makes me wonder if I had a choice why in the heck would I chose to go through this world?  If I did have a choice I need to kick my butt for choosing such a hard life to live.

I read an article the other day that said that evil is getting a firm hold on earth that is why we see so much harm, death, and destruction.  I wonder. It seems to fit the times.  I hate to watch the local or world news anymore. I sure don’t want to think that this is the case but just watch the news for a night.  I can’t stand the way the newscasters love the filth and harm they report on.  We have become the same way on social media, all doom and gloom and the more, the better it seems.   I can see why there are so many who want to live off the grid, but wouldn’t it be better if we tried to clean up the information coming into our homes then hiding from it?

People are tired of hearing promises that never were going to come into fruition.  There is no Judging God, and no you are not his favorite.  We are all one, and we are all one with all things on this earth.  There is no better out there.  I am not going to blow wind up your skirt!!  If you stop and think for a moment there is not one of us that can’t do or be what we want.  Yet, we are all here to do things differently.  Why?  I truly have no idea.  That is the great mystery we all get to deal with until that fateful day when we go back to our original place.

I do know from listening to my heart that we are all here to learn how to deal with limitations, this is the only place in our otherworldly travels that has these limitations.  How do I know, because my heart tells me so. I also hear it from others as well.  There are some things I just know undoubtedly.  It’s like that voice you hear deep inside that seems to always be right.  I stop and listen to that more and more these days.

So this week I have struggled with letting go of all that doesn’t serve me, again!   Those things that just bring me pain and suffering.  It is hard to let go of relationships, family, friendships and all that is not helpful in my life.  If these things are causing you pain, and you can not change them then it is time to let them go. It’s hard though, I think the human spirit in some of us just can not fantom letting things go, maybe from fear of the unknown.

I found a way of breaking these chains or cords from people and places, the other day and wanted to share it with you.  You start off imagining the chains or cords being connected to your outer body shell.  It is your aura and you can see it in your mind as a light shimmering around your body.   I imagine St. Micheal with a glowing sword cutting and breaking these cords and chains.  As they break I heal that hole with love, I imagine a pure white or pink light sealing the cut cords on my aura.  You want to imagine the cord breaking cleanly.  It helps if you think of these cords like they are ways you are losing energy, it helps you cut them quicker.  Cutting a cord doesn’t mean you are cutting that person out of your life.  You are allowing them to be them and you to be you, it is a way that helps you gain back your power.

I was so depressed and felt so overwhelmed the other day, so I imagined a huge sword from heaven coming down and cutting all cords that I had.  It felt so good that I imagined myself screaming from a mountain top as each cord was cut.  I felt so much lighter.  I felt all my worries, past pains and the control I have allowed others to have over me, to disappear.  There comes a time when I feel so overwhelmed from things I have no control over and because I was taught to push and keep trying I wear myself down and become depressed or ill.  I am finding that the more I let go of those kinds of situations the better I start to feel.

I wish I had a reminder that would sound off when I get too caught up in those kinds of situations.  Wouldn’t that be lovely if you had an app on your phone that sent you a message that you are taking on too much and you are taking on things that you can not change?  I guess that’s what Reiki has become for me.

I have found a strength in being real with myself and others.  I do not smile and push through the pain no more.  It is okay to not be around or try with those who have stopped caring who they are hurting.  It is okay to be real with people.  If they don’t like it they can walk away and not come around.  There was a time I would have worried what others think of me.  I am finding that I am cutting that power off and allowing myself to only do that which makes me happy.  It is okay not to be okay.  It’s okay to be happy with what I do without worrying about what others think.  “I now release what No longer serves me.” – Moonstone




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