writing my life story

I was thinking the other day about how we fit into other peoples stories.   I have written my stories to include people. I made a mistake, by accident or maybe from the teaching of my past to make these people more important than me, the main Character.
Yet in this day in age, I am waking to the fact that my life story is and should be more about the main character, ME!

As I sit back and watch the different stories unfold of those I love and know, I start to understand that there is a change in the way each person tells their story.  At first glance, it seems very selfish of them.  How dare they only think of their happiness their wants, dreams, and lessons. But, It isn’t selfishness if one can step back from their own ego and listen to the story of those around them.

Perfect example, my husband, yeah yeah, I know, yet he has taught me that his story is about him and only him.  There are times that I am written in for comic relief or for dinner, maybe a movie or two, but most of the time he lives his own story.   I watch and listen to the way he tells his story, and I can see that I am not the main character, and if I do become the main character, it really pisses him off.

To be honest, don’t we all become a bit miffed when we end up having to deal with others storyline, dramas, or problems.  I like being the main character in my story, I enjoy adding others into my story. BUT, I don’t want them to take over my storyline.  What is wrong with not having to end your story so you can make it all about someone else’s storyline??

So how does looking at others story with us in it help us to become stronger in our own story?  How do we forget or change the misconceptions that we owe others in our story? If we want to give that much then sure go for it, but let me warn you, you will come out in the next chapter pissed off that it was not given back tenfold.  Do not give away what you want back, it will never come back the way you imagined.

How is it that we forget that our happiness is contagious and if we are happy than others in our story will either enjoy that happiness of resenting it, but it is on them on how they react to it. They can either enjoy being in our story thru the good the bad and indifference or write their asses out of it. I have given way to much power in my story to others.   I have been guilty of living to make others happy, only to resent it because I didn’t do what made me happy.

I asked my husband the other day if he was writing me out of his story? He looked at me strangely.

I don’t believe he is consciously doing this, but as we grow, become wiser, physically change, become more than what we were earlier in our lives, we change our story.   My actions and reactions are showing this.  I don’t want to be in his story like I once was.  I have changed because of my different life experiences.

It is hard to know when to write that new chapter in your life.  Maybe you don’t, you just keep evolving and growing, and one day a new chapter appears at the right time.  I guess it would be like writers’ block, for now, I will need to let it go and allow it to be.

I think we need to be aware though so we don’t allow ourselves to get bogged down, become dull, lifeless, and stop growing.  I have tried to rewrite this chapter over and over, circumstances that have happened to each of us has changed what was once familiar.  I feel when you have done all you can to try and change your perception, and you are still not happy with that storyline, it’s time to change the direction, the scenery.

Life is too short to be stressed and unhappy.  The plot changes there are new twists and turns. If you go with the flow, you find your world expand your story becomes bigger, if you fight to stay small and the same then your life reflects that.

It isn’t just him, it is all the characters in my life.  I find that all the characters in my life are changing. Yet, I have a deeper understanding of all of the other characters in my story.  All those in my life have had a profound way of teaching me incredible life lessons.  Granted, not all of them have been Cinderella, bipity bobity boo, good!

You ever read a story where it is so heartwarming, loving, and awe-filled? Some Chapters take you on a self-discovery ahh ha moment, other chapters take you deeper into your feelings and leave you spellbound. There are the chapters of loss, death, and love so profound that they never stop surprising you when you reread them.  That is my story, and I want to continue to have more of those moments of AHH HA, SURPRISE, BAM, and AWWWW.

The story of our lives is up to us, we can submit the final draft of our novel with no editing, no actions, no change of scenery, no BAM WHAT moments or we can take action and edit our stories to be what we want them to be.  It is never too late for a rewrite.


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