Love the defeats

Dearest God and Goddess I ask that you help me to be kind to me today.  Please help me to remember how far I have come and to celebrate in those thoughts.  Bring me the healing ask for instantly and help me to enjoy the moments when I do not hurt.  I invite you my Goddess and God to help me remember how special I am.  Let me walk in this life with the purpose to be loving and kind to me.  Amen

I woke up crying this morning. I am tired, and I am tired of fighting an illness, to see my past full of struggles and waking up once more in the same place.  It isn’t easy this life.  I have my challenges every day just like millions of others do.  There is no way that anyone can wake up always in high spirits.  If they do, I want to know what kind of drugs they are on. I wouldn’t take them but hey I just would like to know.

Like I have preached before, life isn’t meant to be easy.  The living is messy and always a learning process.  After I get up and lift the shades on my windows, I see the pinks and purple of the rising sun, all of course after my praying for enlightenment.  I can’t help but look at the colors, of the sunrise, the way the shadows play on the trees, and I can not stop smiling at the fact that I have made it so far in my life. Here I stand today in awe of me!

I can remember the times where I couldn’t make it out of bed, that I felt like death was just a few feet away.  I crawled to get to the bathroom, and I struggled to eat, I laid there in bed trying not to die.  As I stand here and gaze out the window, of my home, on this beautiful hill. I can’t help but be proud of the fact that I have come through so much and I am standing up and doing more today than I ever dreamed I would.  That’s the crazy thing about life.  We forget the struggles, the pain, the hardship once they have passed.  We forget as well to look back once in a while and think about how far we have come.  I am so bad at that. I keep thinking about how much more I need to do but forget how far I have come.

Life is already in balance, but I don’t see it, because I am way to close to it.  Life is always flowing, and it is my job and my joy to find the speed I like and go with the flow.  I am ever grateful for the way my life has gone.  I trust in myself more and more every day.  The colors of life as I see them, get prettier, darker, more vibrant.  I am rewarded when I believe in my own heart, and I love the magic I find when I allow myself to be that magical being I was when I was younger.

To love the things that are not going just the way you would like them, to know that your wishes have not caught up in the time frame you wished, is one heck of a gift.  I have found that there is so much more going on in the background of my life, and if I get still, it all has a way of catching up and bring with it miracles.  I love to make up spells as I wait for what I would like to happen.  I make up prayers to help me know that it is all working out the best and most beautiful way for me.  No more do I get angry or hurt if something doesn’t work out the way I thought it should.  To control the way you deal with life is indeed a life-giving gift that will only serve you in the best of ways once mastered.

I love the moments now when I do not get what I wanted at that moment.   I have found that once I love and let my expectations go, all the energy seems to flow and things move much faster than would have if I had pushed it the way I wanted. Patience is indeed a virtue, and when you play with the time and have fun waiting, you are never disappointed.

Let’s say you have an old car you want to get rid of, yet no matter what you list it as it never seems to leave you.  This is where you stop expecting a time limit. Get in the right place about this car, now love that it isn’t going anywhere right now.  Know in your heart it will go when it is time and that you are not going to worry about it anymore.  NO matter if you have bills and this is your only hope.  You have to come from your heart on this.  I love you car, you have been and were a great car when I needed you.  Now I would love for you to sell but if you don’t that is because it isn’t the right time and I love that you are out there in my yard.  You will go when it is time and for the best price for my needs.  Now walk away and forget it.  Keep it posted but let it go.  Every time you see that car, love it.  I love you car, I really do.  I did this for about a week on a camper I had been trying to sell for over two years.  After I said these words, I had someone inquire and fall in love with it.  I couldn’t believe it but I sure as heck loved the way that magically came about.

I love this quote from Halloween Town: Aggie Cromwell: Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.”

This has become the thyme in my life. Every time I feel like I am in lack I remind myself that I may be the block as well.  So I want something, and then I allow myself to have it.  In other words get out of your way.

Life is extraordinary and indeed a gift.  It is up to use to forget the useless limited ways of thinking and find our way back to our heart, that magical place where dreams come to fruition.  Be an advocate for your way of life, and be proud of where and who you are.  Celebrate your victories and love your defeats.  Love really is a magical word that can change everything in your life.





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